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Archive for the category “Memories”

Memories of Crushes

“That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something else.” — Anonymous

1. I’m pretty sure my first crush was actually in Kindergarten. I don’t remember much except for the fact that when we had our class picture taken and they had me stand behind my crush I was so shy you could barely see my face in the picture. Guy is currently still single.

2. However, I like to tell people my first crush was in 3rd grade… and that it was a “crush at first sight”. LOL. I first fell in love with his name… then I saw him with his Alladin backpack. Yes, I seriously remember that. It lasted until 6th grade when thanks to a bunch of friends who can’t keep a secret the whole class found out… it really was a bit catastrophic the drama, which lasted until 9th grade, I think. He moved to another school for the high school years, and yet by some strange coincidence I became best friends with his cousin. That was a bit awkward. Nevertheless, the person is now married and has a daughter.

3. When I was about 10 or 11, I met with a boy two years older than me, the son of a friend of an aunt. Despite only knowing him for a few hours, I sobbed like mad when I overheard my aunt and my grandma talking about playing matchmaker between this guy and my cousin. Several years later, I visited his family home and he showed me his newly renovated room, which was super awesome, and played me some music that he and his band recorded. In a super romantic moment, he asked me how it was, meaning the music, but I was so nervous that I commented awkwardly on the room instead and made absolutely no sense. Quite obviously disappointed, he turned off the music and we headed back down to the family room. I still think that it would’ve been my first kiss had I not been so stupid. Apparently he turned a workaholic when his mother died and I haven’t really seen him ever again, although I met his younger brother and am still sort of in contact with him (the younger brother).

4. In 9th grade, I had a major crush in a guy 2 years my junior who was a super sweet-talker. This turned into a major relationship drama as I became close to his ex-girlfriend and he ended up dating my best friend at the time. Highly complicated, I tell you.

5. Recovering from the heartbreak the previous guy brought, I crushed on another 7th grader… I really can’t remember whatever happened to this particular crush. What I do remember was that one day we were talking after school and he wouldn’t let me go… until I let him hold my hand and he kissed it!

6. At about 9, I first met this guy at church who became the longest crush I ever had. I remember I was smitten for him when we first met, but then I never saw him again (I think he went off for his studies) until roughly 5 years later when common ministry brought us pretty close. This closeness led up to the faithful night where I could almost have had my first kiss — except that I was so young and innocent (HAHA) that it turned sort of awkward and we actually ended up not speaking for almost two years, I think. Then, despite still having major feelings for him, I had to endure him flirting around with a whole bunch of other girls as he has his way around them… while we just constantly bicker at each other. I’m pretty sure my heart would still beat faster when he’s around even now.

7. Second semester of 10th grade, I crushed on a senior who was in the school debate team. If I remember correctly, we became pretty close after a Valentine’s Day texting spree over a “secret admirer” chocolate package I delivered to him as part of my task in the student council. Of course, the package was from me. Also, as far as I remember this was the only crush who actually got a birthday present from me — a novel that had just came out and was all the rage, which was SO hard to find and I just happened to come across the last copy available at a bookshop. The novel is still my favorite novel ever, although I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with crushing on him.

8. In university, I actually made a long list of potential crushes which was highly ridiculous. I ended up having real crushes on only two of them though… well, okay, three… except the one crush eventually became my boyfriend, AFTER I had stopped crushing on him (it’s complicated, always is).

9. Another pretty major crush was with a guy from choir, who was quite obviously crushing on me as well… once, he gave me a drawing he made of me for my birthday — one out of 3 attempts ever made to draw me.

And I could actually go on and on but let’s keep it at that for now ūüôā


Memories of Kisses

1.¬†The first time I kissed you, you looked at me and said: “you’re wearing those lip-thingies… I hate them.” Or was that the second time we kissed? Maybe the first time was when you simply went “wow!”

2. You had just asked me to be your girlfriend and I only said yes because I wanted to go home and you almost choked me by not letting me go. You stole my first kiss. I didn’t even realize what you did until I was on my way home. I never count that incident as a kiss, because I never kissed back… and I didn’t want my first kiss to be like that.

3. It was a few days after my birthday and the first day we worked the same shift. You called me to ask if we could meet. You said happy birthday and gave me the usual cheek-to-cheek… then somehow you ended up kissing my lips. We kissed for a while. It was such a wonderful,¬†indescribable¬†feeling. I couldn’t stop smiling until the end of my shift. That is what I consider my first kiss. It was perfect.

4. One day you got more confident with your kissing… and they started to become sloppy. That was when I started to dislike kissing you. And then I disliked being your girlfriend.

5. When our friends left the balcony, you leaned in and kissed my cheek. I didn’t react to that. Or maybe I just smiled.¬†Then we walked in and as we were about to say good night before you entered your room, we kissed. I remember thinking at that time that that was the best kiss I’ve had. Your kisses continued to be amazing.

6. We were joking around like we always did… and you said “if you do that one more time, I’m going to kiss you!” to which I replied, “oh yeah? go on, if you dare!” and we kissed. The junior student standing next to us couldn’t believe what happened.

7. Whenever you tried to french kiss me, I would stop kissing you. I told you I don’t like it. A year later, we were kissing and you stopped me and asked: “if you don’t like using your tongue to kiss, then why are you doing it so much?” to which I replied, “because you like it.”

Seven Sweet Memories

I’m in a little nostalgic mood. So in no particular order, seven of my most vivid SWEET memories of different guys at different times of my life so far.

1. It was at the library, a favorite place for both of us. He was hungover but he had forced himself to come and see me. Told me that he has different levels of love (like I used to), and that he is pretty sure he’s reached the third or even fourth level with his feelings for me. I asked why, and he said “3 reasons. One, you are smart. Two, your writing is really good. Three, I like the way you laugh.”

2. He smiled, placed his hand on the small of my back, and kissed my forehead.

3. It was his birthday. I didn’t have time to get him presents. We were standing in front of the library… I leaned in to kiss him and said happy birthday. Later found out that was his first kiss.

4. “Where have you been all this time?” he asked before kissing me again. And again. “Where were you?” I asked him back.

5. We were doing some hiking activity with a group of friends. He kept holding my hand, long after it was necessary. I didn’t want to let go either.

6. “You are such a good kisser,” he said.

7. I was at work, sitting in front of this glass window where I could see people passing by. That’s when I saw him for the first time. He looked at me. Walked backwards to keep my gaze. I smiled. He smiled.

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